Dentists

Dentists are ridiculous. You go there and you gotta sit in a waiting room for who knows how long just to get in a room and wait even longer. The waiting room is either super loud or it's awkwardly quiet, and there's no in between.

Then in the rooms, you got those weird dentist chairs you got to sit in. They also leave all these tools in the rooms with you that you aren't supposed to touch but you want to so bad.

Fast forward to the dentist actually coming in the room with you. You're pulled back in the chair to the point you're staring at the ceiling. Now someone has put up posters on the freaking ceiling. With this, I have to ask why?? Who in their right mind puts a dang poster on the ceiling? Who says "Oh you know what I'm gonna do? Put a poster on the ceiling of every room in the dentist office for people to stare at while the dentist is jabbing at people's teeth."

Let me tell you when I'm at the dentist office, with my mouth open, two hands and two or three tools in my mouth, the last thing I want to do is look at a 'Where's Waldo' poster.
Then there's that awkward, "where do I look" going through your head. "Do they really expect me to look at this poster for the entire 10 minutes to an hour or however long I'm going to be here?" "Am I supposed to look at the dentist? Or maybe his assistant?" And god forbid you get the dentist that tries to talk to you while he's in your mouth.
Dentist: "Hey how are you?"
Me. *Internally* Not very good, you have your entire fist in my mouth. Why in the hell are you trying to make small talk? *out loud* "Random noises that kind of resemble 'fine' or 'good'"
Dentist: *Continues to talk*
Me: *Internally* Oh. My. God. Please shut up.
Like, do dentists actually expect you to answer? I have to say, that alone, is my biggest pet peeve about going to the dentist. *Eye roll*

YoU'rE bLeeDInG BeCauSe YoU dOn'T fLoSS

Now let's get to the "because you don't floss excuse". The dentist jabs you in the gums with one of his sharp tools and your gums start bleeding. Then he goes on the tell you "You're bleeding because you don't floss."
I don't floss. You're correct. You know why? Because nobody in the damn world under the age of 35 flosses unless you're just a loser with nothing
better to do.
So yeah, I don't floss, Jim, but I think the real reason you're saying this is because you messed up and stabbed me, and now you want to flip the tables and make this my fault. So how about you shut up?

Now we're finally over and ready to go. You walk over to the receptionist desk and they want you to plan your next appointment. 6 months from now. "Are you going to be free on March 18, 2018, at 2:00?" Like I don't freaking know. Probably not. "Well how about at 3:00" Well sure why not. Because I can predict the future and know exactly where I'm going to be in 6 months.



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