Forest Gump



This isn't going to be a Get it out there Friday because come on, it's Forest Gump, almost everyone has seen that movie.
The plot of this movie is absolutely ridiculous. You have a slow man who does basically everything. He goes to war, meets the president twice, goes on a shrimp boat, creates a million dollar company, etc.
Like do you really expect me to believe this man, goes on to spend his whole life in the military, and then go out on a shrimp boat and start catching everything in sight, first try, with no experience? Also, he became a world class ping pong player just from casually playing ping pong for hobby out of boredom. Can you image how pissed off everyone else in the tournaments would be to hear, "oh yeah, that guy just does this for fun, didn't even train". He also met the president not once, but twice, and didn't really give a crap either time. Like I don't care how slow you are, you'd probably have some feelings towards meeting the president. Like for example, if I met Trump right now, I'd probably want to leave immediately. Like as fast as I could. You know what, never mind.
Anyway, my point is in the whole movie Forest does like 10 things that take most people their entire life just to do one of the things is they finish it at all. And trying to tell me he's slow on top of all of that? Yeah, I just can't buy it.
I love the movie, and when I get to the line where he's visiting Jenny's grave I bawl my eyes out just like the rest of the human race but I just can't buy the storyline. Its cool and all, but just not probable.

Valentines Day

Normally I think Valentine's Day is dumb and stupid and blah, blah, blah. But also I'm usually single during Valentine's day. I don't want to admit the two facts are correlated, but I think they are. This is is the first year ever I've actually done anything for Valentine's day regardless of if I was single or not. Not only that but I started this nearly a month in advance. I almost never plan in advance. I'm usually an "it happens when it happens" "I'll wing it" type of girl. So I've kind of amazed myself that I've even done anything at all. 
This took forever
But myself I don't really care that much about Valentine's day. The only holidays I really care about is my birthday, Halloween, and Christmas. But as cliche as it may sound, when you find the right person I guess you really just wanna do stuff for them. But I did that mason jar thing that's been a thing for a while where you write a short little note for every day of the year. Most of the time it's a new year's eve thing, which is what I was gonna do but.... that didn't work out, so now it's a Valentine's day gift. 

Sorry, this is a rant blog and I'm kinda being gushy. Anyway, why Valentine's day sucks, which I'm sure you single will appreciate. 

First off, there's terrible candy. Like you can buy these huge overpriced boxes of candy, and they taste like literal shit. I don't know why anyone in their right mind would buy that stuff, but people do. Then there are the flowers. I'm not one that likes flowers any time of the year honestly. So I definitely don't want them on Valentine's day when they're marked up even more than usual. If I am going to be given. flowers, you can go pick some off the side of the road for free. Don't bother spending money. The only thing I can agree with is those giant stuffed animals. Those are pretty cool and I've been wanting one myself for a little bit so I can't complain about that. 

None Pizza with Left Beef

This, this is my favorite post on Tumblr. There are quite a few gems on that site, but this one takes the top. I've never ordered pizza online so I didn't know you could specify something like this. I do know that I want to do something along these lines eventually. 
Where I live is out in the middle of nowhere so no pizza places actually deliver to my house. (Sad, I know.) 
But seriously, why don't pizza places deliver out to the middle of nowhere? I feel like there's a lot of untapped money to be made that they're just throwing in the dirt. Like the farther out you are, the more they could pay for delivery fees. And if someone is out super far, chances are they're going to be more than willing to pay those fees just for the fact that they don't want to get out themselves. I know I for sure would. Like if I could get Dominos to deliver to my house, from Joplin, I'd pay them $20 extra just because Dominos has the best damn pizza around.
But no pizza places deliver to my house, so I guess I'm stuck with either some frozen pizza bs or I'm gonna have to drive to get me a pizza. 

Anyway, I was going to rant about that being my favorite Tumblr post in the world, but instead, I just got pissed off about not being able to have pizza delivered to my house. Oops. 

Snow Days

Most kids like snow days. Like to hear that a kid doesn't like snow days will probably shock your mind, but I'm that kid. I like being in school. I hate being in my house. I hate being stuck in my house. I'm by myself pretty much and feel unwanted and in the way. At school at least I feel like I'm halfway wanted and that I'm able to do something right.

I do like playing in the snow and all, don't get me wrong. But there are weekends for that. Like the other day, my school canceled classes in the middle of a school day because it might get cold and ice over. (It didn't by the way and we had school the next day.) It was completely unnecessary and just kinda dumb. I dunno.
I'm currently out of school for snow days and all I can think of is when I'm going to be able to go back to school.  We had only been in school from winter break for like a week and now we've had snow days for the past week. Like enough is enough. 

The way I see it is if we take snow days off then we lose those days in the summer. The more days we have to take on from the summer. The longer it is before school lets out for break. I'd rather get summer break started as fast as possible because that's when I'll be graduated.







Bubbles


The Powerpuff Girls. Bubbles. Out of all the characters in the Powerpuff Girls, Bubbles is my favorite. I don't think I've ever identified with any character more.
Like everything she says is pretty much something I'd say. It's all really cutesy or kinda sad, just wanting to feel better and get along with everyone.  As in the picture to the left. Literally arguing is one of the things I hate most. I strive for everyone to just get along.


Now I'm just going to spam a few pictures because it would take years to explain every little thing.

 
 
But pretty much Bubbles is either happy and well, bubbly, or she's crying. I don't really know anything else that I connect with more.

John "Mad Jack" Churchill

John "Mad Jack" Churchill. Lemme go on a quick rant on why this guy is probably the biggest badass in history.

His story starts in 1926 when he graduates from Sandhurst Military Acadamy and joins the British Army. He spent the first few years doing nothing but riding his motorcycle up and down the Indian subcontinent just for the fun of it. Also in spare time, he decided to pick up the bagpipes (I'll never know why.)  
After about ten years in the army, he retires. In his time off he works as a newspaper editor, a male model, and a movie extra. Quite an exciting time and quite a change from the army. He still practiced archery and bagpipes on the side though, don't worry. He even represented England at the World Archery Championships in 1939. But that wasn't that satisfactory for him compared to the army, so he reenlisted. 
In 1940 after enlisting he was shipped to France to assist the rest of the British Expeditionary Force in their mission to reinforce the Maginot Line, but not long after Churchill arrived Hitler decided to send his legions to seriously mess up France and the British found themselves right in the middle of a raging hellstorm. So they were then just stuck trying to do whatever they could to stall the German's advance. 
Well, Churchill refused to give ground. He started planning and launching small-scale guerrilla raids and surprise attacks on German positions and supply depots. He did all this riding his motorcycle and armed with nothing but a Scottish broadsword and bow and arrow. (He's the only man to have a confirmed bow and arrow kill in WWII fun fact.) When asked by a fellow officer why Churchill insisted on carrying the broadsword into battle with him, he responded, "In my opinion, sir, any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed".

He had been shipped to France to assist the rest of the British Expeditionary Force in their mission to reinforce the Maginot Line, but not long after Churchill arrived Hitler decided to send his legions to seriously fuck up France and the Brits found themselves right in the middle of a raging shitstorm.  The British troops were being pushed back towards the sea by the unstoppable Blitzkrieg, doing whatever they could to stall the Germans' relentless advance.
Well, Jack Churchill had some ideas.  He not only refused to give ground, but he launched small-scale guerrilla raids and surprise attacks on German positions and supply depots.  Riding his trusty motorcycle and armed only with a motherfucking bow and arrow and a Scottish broadsword, he would assault the Germans, catch them completely off-guard, and fuck their shit up medieval-style.  When asked by a fellow officer why Churchill insisted on carrying the broadsword into battle with him, he responded, "In my opinion, sir, any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed".



Churchill's sword.

Despite being shot in the neck by a German machine gun, "Mad Jack" Churchill (as he came to be known) battled throughout the Dunkirk campaign, at one point even winning the Military Cross for bravery when he rescued a wounded British officer from a German ambush.

After all this, he signed up for a new organization, The Commandos, even though he wasn't even really sure what a Commando was or what they did. He just knew they wanted to beat up the Germans and that sounded cool to him. (Talk about a man of impulse.) 
During the British landing at Salerno, he won another award for bravery.  His squad was charged with taking out an artillery battery that was pinning down a nearby British force, despite the fact that the town of Piegoletti (where the guns were based) was garrisoned by a force much larger than his own Number 2 Commando. No surprise here, but Churchill had his own ideas. Instead, in the middle of the night, he had his men charge the town from all sides, screaming "COOMMAAANNNNDOOO!!!" as loud as possible. The Germans were confused and surprised and mounted a futile resistance. The 50 men of Number 2 Commando took 136 prisoners and inflicted an unknown number of casualties. 
Well, this isn't even though most insane thing Churchill did. One night, he single-handedly took forty-two German prisoners and captured a mortar crew using only his broadsword.  He simply took one patrolling guard as a human shield and went around from sentry post to sentry post, sneaking up on the guards and then shoving his sword in their faces until they surrendered.  His response when asked about how he was able to capture so many soldiers so easily: 
"I maintain that, as long as you tell a German loudly and clearly what to do, if you are senior to him he will cry 'jawohl' (yes sir) and get on with it enthusiastically and efficiently whatever the situation."
 Not only all this but eventually he's captured by Nazis and they take him to the concentration camp. But don't think that's the end of the story. He just waited until the night and snuck out under the fence and walked back to his troop. Sadly, he didn't actually make it back to his troop before being recaptured and sent to a prison camp in Austria. But he just kinda walked out of there too. One night the lighting failed in April of 1945 and he just dropped his shovel and walked away.
He marched 150 miles through the Alps living off vegetables he found along the way. He ran into a U.S column and the sent him back to England. However, the war was just about over at this point. 
His time isn't finished though. At the age of 40, he qualified as a paratrooper and went to jump school. He did a few more things in the military and retired (Again) in 1959. He was also a hardcore surfer and built and designed his own surfboards. 

So because of all of this stuff I have to say this guy is probably the most badass in history and my personal hero.  
(I don't know why the text is all werid in this post. Sorry guys.)

Piercings

There are several piercings that look good. Ear, nose, lip, belly button, etc. But then there's several that don't look good.

The septum is one that I think is probably the worst. Sorry, Melanie, I love her, but not even she can pull off the septum. But that's okay because no one can. Honestly, that really the only single piercing I have an issue with. 




Even he looks in pain

The only other thing that annoys me is just excessive piercings. Like if you got 16 piercings in your ear alone then 25 more throughout your face then don't even talk to me. 






Now, this is the thing that bothers me most. Babies with piercings. I don't care where it is or what it is, it's wrong. Babies should never ever have piercings. And don't give me that "Oh but it's so cute." Or "Oh, they don't have that much feeling" or "They can just take it out when they're older" or whatever. It's not cute, it's cruel. I don't care how much feeling they have would you want a needle shoved through your ear forcefully without you even having a say? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Also, yes they can take it out when they're older. Sure. But the hole won't close. You've had a chunk of your skin taken out, the hole has healed and been held open for two, three, maybe more, years. That hole is not closing. I got my ears pierced when I was 10 (I had been begging since I was 8) and I walked around without earrings for about 2 years when I was 12 and 13 without putting in an earring once, and guess what? I still have pierced ears. Because those holes don't close. Other piercings close up after a while but ears don't. Ears are forever hun.

Frozen

So I see that Tumblr post about how everyone wants an alto Disney princess so they don't have to strain their voice going around quite often.
Have none of you ever seen Frozen? It's like one of the most popular Disney movies of the past 10 years?
Kay well I hate to break it to you guys but Elsa is probably the most alto you can get. For The First Time In Forever is a perfect version of that. The song has Anna and Elsa singing in harmony for the ending where Anna's singing in your common high note Disney voice, but then there's also Elsa singing down in a much lower pitch than a normal Disney princess. Let It Go also doesn't have all that many high notes if any at all.

So the next time you see this post on the internet do me a favor and call it out. I see it all the time all over Facebook and my friends share it and agree. "Oh, I can't sing the high notes, it's so hard." Like, come one. There's Elsa. There's already an alto Disney princess. If anything ask for ANOTHER alto Disney princess. That would make sense. But to ask for a first is dumb since there already is one.
That's just a little something that's annoyed me for about a year now and I'm just glad to finally get it out there. 

Australia

Have you ever been to Australia? The answer is no

Australia is not real. It's a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It's a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires.
Australia does not exist. All things you call "proof" are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They're all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.
If you think you've ever been to Australia, you're terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby - or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians.
Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked. Join the movement today, and make it known that they have been deceived. Make it known, that this has all just been a cover-up. The things these "Australian" says to be doing, all these swear words and actions based on alcoholism, MDMA and bad decisions, are all ways to distract you from the ugly truth that is one of the greatest genocides in history. 162,000 people was said to have been transported to this imaginary land during a mere 80 years, and they are all long dead by now. They never reached that promised land.
Tell the truth. Stand up for what is right. Make sure to spread the world - Australia is not real. It's a codeword for the cold blooded murder of more than a hundred thousand people, and it is not okay. We will not, accept this.
Stand up for the ones who died. Let it be known, that Australia does not exist.

#AustraliaisNOTreal