Amber's Adventures Pt. 2

Gabby: "What do you want your kid to grow up to be?"
Me: "I want mine and Lacey's kids to grow up and be gay together."
Lavey: "Exactly"
Sheffield: "Arranged gay marriages. Welcome to the 21st century." *Starts ranting about Obama and other adult political things.* 

*Trying to eat cereal*
Me: Why aren't I getting any milk?"
Lacey: *Looks at me*
Me: *Realizes I'm using a fork*

Lacey and I: *Talking about getting nipples pierced* (Not ours)
Me: Can you breastfeed if your nipples are pierced?
Lacey: I don't think so... *Asks Mrs. Fry* (She says no) (You can we later found out)

Mr. Sheffield: *Preparing Turkeys*
Lacey: Do you have clothes we could put on those poor naked prostitute turkeys?
Sheffield: Well I'm about to tie them up here in a minute.
Me: So they're bondage prostitute turkeys?
Sheffield: What?
Me: What?

Sheffield: *Teaching us how to tie up the turkeys*
Me: Can you uhh... use these tieing methods on other things?
Sheffield: Yeah, actually you can use this on chickens and... *Realizes that's not what I was talking about*
*Lacey and I start laughing*
Isiah: Can you smack it for us?
Sheffield: Not yet, you gotta wait until it's finished

Isn't it weird how if you throw a whole dead body somewhere it's a felony, but if you burn them up first it's "respecting their wishes"

*Is talking about the above sentence to Sheffield*
Me: I don't see why you can't just throw dead bodies somewhere.
Sheff: ...
Me: I want to be dismembered and thrown in a children's park
Shef: ...
Me: *Starts rambling about how I actually want a Viking funeral*

Me:*Sees Sheffield doing photoshop things with Chance the Rapper*
Me: Uhh... Sheff, what are you doing with Chance the Rapper?
Sheff: I can't tell you that.

*Talking about those videos where they get on yahoo answers and see all the stupid things people ask*
*Watches one about masturbation*
Me: Sheff is masturbation the only thing guys think about during puberty?
Sheff: Pretty much.
Chelsea: What are you guys talking about?
Sheff: Nothing don't worry about it.
Me: Masturbation.
Chelsea: Oh...

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